Parenting conflict between married couples

One of the major goals of marriage is to produce children and nurture them into responsible adults and members of society. In parenting, couples play the critical roles of caring, teaching, training and discipling their children towards desirable outcomes. Parenting conflict involve interfaces between spouses that border on the upbringing of children. These include conflicts about discipline, expectations and decisions affecting children, as well as rivalry over the child’s attention and love. While children can mischievously take advantage of contrasting perspectives between their parents and even play them against each other, parents can also make the grave mistake of using children against each other. These can result in open arguments or overt conflict between couples. Parents often argue openly and keep prolong grudge with each other, resulting in spill-overs affecting the various other aspects of family life.

Parenting conflicts and how they are managed leave lasting impressions on children. Experience of parental conflict serves as a learning avenue where children acquire skills for discussing or agreeing with dissenting views, even outside the confines of their family. Children’s experience of conflict between their parents helps them to understand that conflict is not bad in itself, provided it is properly managed for positive outcome. Spouses must therefore learn to reach agreement or make compromise, especially when conflict arises in the presence of their children.

Importantly, Parents must be guided by the need to please their spouses, rather than children. To resolve parenting conflict between couples, effective and constant communication is key: parents must make out time to discuss parenting when the children aren’t with them. This will facilitate a common ground against times when the conflicts will arise.  Caution must be taken, however, to avoid overriding or undermining each other in the presence of the children. Even when they conflict, couples must respect each other, while they express difference on given issues.

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